Thanks

Thanks everyone for making today the best birthday I ever had.

And that includes my family too. Esp my mum. :)

And btw, special thanks go out to my cousin, Matt.

Lol, even if he doesn't read this.

That little angel is so sweet.

He still remembers that I bought bowling pins for him when I was in KL for Form 3 trip. And when his mum asked him to give it away to charity, he was adamant about not giving it away.

He told me: I cannot give away my bowling pins. (very serious voice again) You give me wan. I will never give it away. It's you give me one. Cannot give away. NEVER!

Aww, ain't he sweet.

Wonder why is it that I'm still feeling the urge to cry when today is so perfect.

I guess I know why.

Ghosts of the past...

Memories

Ghosts of the past...

Back to haunt me...

Just as I thought everything was long since dead and buried six feet under...

Only to have memories flood back like a very painful caleidoscope of colours...

And through it all having to pretend because I had to help a friend get over her ghosts from the past...

Being relied on, it's not called heroism it's called putting on a facade when everything comes crashing back down on you...

Heroism is when someone goes on day after day without breaking down even when he or she has lost everything there is...

Am I called a hero then?

Can you call someone who had her own ghosts from the past haunt her just because her friend, seeking for help, accidentally evoked them?

Obviously not.

I shall now learn that the study room: though having a conducive study environment is not that best place for me. Especially not with those cubicles that give too much privacy and is too good at locking out every single thing from the world out.

And it doesn't help that my other friends in my room were sitting far far away from me, conspiring something and keep on pushing me away...

I've learnt to deal with these ghosts and the hurt they evoke... it's deeply etched and yet buried in my heart...

Then why is it then sitting there in the cubicle, while advicing someone else with such a cool face...

I can still feel the pathetic urge to cry helplessly?

Random-ness

Ah... nth to blog actually.

So this is prob gonna be the shortest post in history.

This week has, well, not been the best of all weeks.

And though Chem paper 3 and Bio paper 3 are part of the reason for my misery, I shall not go into them because they're not the main reasons. After all, there's more to life than tests.

Sigh.

This few days, I just feel so frustrated. And angry. And sore. I hate seeing the smug look on someone's face everytime she comes around. As if she's better than me. As if she can write better than me. And no worries ppl, it's no one from our year. So don't get all worked up. Gar, I just can't stand her.

And there's another her I can't stand. And again, not from our year. What I don't get about this person is the fact that she's always always doing something to upset me. She never appreciates me for what I do especially when performing my duty. I mean come on, I worked three hours into the night for that blasted thing! And then what do you do? Throw it away saying you don't agree with what I wrote. Ah, bugger la. Always never want to look at it twice or maybe thrice. Just look once and then keep protesting and toss it aside.

Sorry to sound so vague but then again, I never know who reads this blog.

Ah. Piss me off la those two ppl. One think she's so much better than me (maybe she is but that's besides the point... how can you go around looking so smug in my face?!) and one think she's the queen of the world that doesn't need to appreciate all the little people like me working their butts off. BUGGER LA THE BOTH OF THEM!

Pah. Things that were promised to me would probably not come to pass now. Just because of HER. Yes the supposedly-queen-of-the-world her. Oh to hell with it.

And then, here's the sad part. My aunt in Melb died.

To be honest, I didn't cry my eyeballs out. Because well, I quite expected it. She had cancer. Sorry if you think me THAT heartless but the oth reason is that well, I was never close to her. My brother was probably closer to her because he stayed with her for one year (the 1st year he was in Melb) so he had a right to feel sad.

I mean, I do feel sad and all but again, I've not seen her for like what? 6 years?! Hah. That's what I'm talking about. But go ahead and think me heartless if you like. I have more than enough ppl who are loathing me and despising me right now anyway. It wouldn't hurt if you added on to that number. Bah.

But whatever it is, I'm really lucky that I don't need to fly all the way down to Melb to attend the funeral. I'm sorry that I'm heartless but I mean come on, I would have to miss my exams bah. And my parents think that it's not exactly the best idea for me to fly all the way down, get jet lagged on the way back and HAVE to sit for exams. What more got SPM BM oral coming up again. Sigh. Sjane, remember our group script oh! I doubt she's see this though...

Sigh. All the blogs I know aren't updated. I'm running out of my ol entertainment. But I can't exactly blame those blog owners can I? It's near exams. And we're all working our butts off whether we want to or not. What to do? SPM year mah.

And bugger la, the entrance mark from Trinity to Uni of Melb for Med is 98% Hah. That is impossible la. That's asking me to get like 100 for every subject I take. And believe me not easy eh. Esp since I'm taking subs like Chem, Maths (not that simple as our simple maths oh) English, History of Ideas (political and intellectual views in essay form) and prob Bio or Physics. Hah. You see? 100 for all that? Ah, bugger la. It's impossible. It is really impossible. But then again, if I get less than 98 they may still consider me for a place in Med in Uni of Melb. Like last time my bro's mark was 93 and their securing-place-in-uni-for-sure mark was 95 and he still got the place... though he turned it down and took Engineering instead. But still I have to get at least 80 on my Eng to be able to get into Uni of Melb. So even if I get the required average mark of 98 and I don't get 80 on Eng I can't get in. But then again, how can I get 98 if I didn't get 80 in Eng in the first place? Bahhhhh this whole thing is making me head spin.

And no, don't tell me I can choose another degree. Because I don't think I can do anything besides Med. I mean, can't imagine myself doing smth else like Law or smth. When I do think about what I might be, I'd tell you. Oh wait, I wanna be archeologist. But do you seriously think my parents will let me go gallivanting in Egypt and it's forgotten era of Pharoahs? Hah. I wish.

Sigh. One week from now is my bday. I'm supposed to turn 17 and it's supposed to be some milestone for me.

Instead, it's like my bday isn't even next week. I mean come on, whenever I think about next week, it's like automatically the word EXAMS pop up in my mind. Yep, that's how bad it is.

Though 17 means being able to drive it doesn't mean I'm ALLOWED To drive seeing as Mock and SPM are so near. But MTYP, remind me to go for the theory course for you one day when you're free. At least if I die of boredom, I have someone to accompany me in my "death" ;)

Ahhhhh hate exams.

I DON"T CARE WHETHER YOU'RE MY HOMELAND BUT CHINA! CURSE YOU FOR COMING UP WITH THE STUPID IDIOTIC IDEA OF EXAMS!

My Wishlist

I am seriously bored. And yes, I know that I'm supposed to study soon or I'd die for my Physics Paper 3. Grr...

Anywho, just felt like posting smth. So here goes a totally random list of things that I want... :)

1) What I want: An Ipod! A Ipod Nano will do too! Hehe...
Reason: Dang... I never knew what I was missing out on until I went to Miri and got hooked on Cyn's one. Heehee. But oh well, my dad will prob gimme one when I go down to Melb next year. Either that or I get to share with me bro's.

2) What I want: A laptop!
Reason: A laptop would be so cool... besides I'd be able to still be ol when someone's using the home pc. And always laptops seem cooler than pcs. :D My dad will prob gimme one next year too. :)

3) What I want: Rollerblades!
Reason: Uhh... that was totally random actually. My old rollerblades got given away. :'( Well, I grew out of them ... at that point of time. But now I want them back so I can play with them again!

4) What I want: A bike!
Reason: I always loved cycling. Esp at the Stutong Park. Then I outgrew my bike. And then my bro's too. And besides it was rusting. So my parents send it for scrap metal or smth. Sigh. I loved those bikes man. And the memories me and bro had cycling them. :) We used to cycle to the forest near my house and get wild orchids for me mum.

5) What I want: A caricature of everyone in the wonderful world of 5C 2006!
Reason: I LUV caricatures! Esp cute funny ones! And chubby ones too! Besides, it'd be so cool to have one to put next to our class pic. Ah, the memories I would have...

6) What I want: Story books!
Reason: Well, I don't have any particular one in mind. But I would love to have more storybooks. Always loved non-related-academic books. Novels, the bliss!

7) What I want: A new handphone!
Reason: Neh, actually pretty contented with my current one. But sometimes I wish mine had all those cool themes those newer models have. But oh well, not to worry, I'd prob switch my hp with my Dad's cool Motorola one when I go down to Melb. He said so wan la... But even if he doesn't want to gimme his, I'm cool. Mine is relatively cool bah. :P

8) What I want: A cross stitch set!
Reason: Uhh... again totally random. But I really miss doing cross stitch. It's really cool. Tedious but when the work comes out, it's all worth it. And it's fun figuring how the stitches should go so you don't tangle the thread. Hmm, I think I still have some cross stitch somewhere...

9) What I want: A pendrive!
Reason: I can't seem to find mine! *wails* It's lost! I need a pen drive so it'd make my life easier...

10) What I want: Magazines!
Reason: Al, Kim and Emm made me get hooked onto mags like Cleo and all that. So, yeah, I'd like some for leisure. And when I get really bored and have nth to do. And fyi, I only read the articles in them NOT look at the clothes. I'm not THAT girly yet.

Oh well. Ten random things I want.

Note the word want because I'd prob not get them. Hah.

HAPPY SEVENTEENTH BIRTHDAY MTYP!!!

Have a great year ahead!

Bah...

Lately, everyone I've been meeting has been asking me two questions:
1) Where are you going next year?
2) What are you going to study after Form 5?

Bah...

Answer to question 1. I'd prob be going down to Melb, Aus. To Trinity College (hopefully.) My dad says he might send me off to Monash coz he says that the entry requirement is lower. You see la, even my own dad look down on my abilities. Hmph. But, whatever it is, it still depends on whether I get into Trinity. With my Mock SPM results sommore. *bursts into tears* We all know how hard it is to score in Mock!! Argh!

Hate SPM! It's a torture. Grrrr...

Answer to question 2. Hopefully, I'm gonna do Foundation Course for one year. And then do Med in Melb Uni. Worse come to worse, Monash. If that bad, I'd ... think about it. Hehe. First choice Med. Second choice Accounting. *gasp* Didn't expect that of me ya? Haha. But seriously, what else am I supposed to do? I don't want commerce. Too many stocks and investments stuff. I don't want law. Have to bury yourself in dozens of law books long after you finish your studies. I don't want engineering. Too much calculations, Add Maths and Physics (eg. calculate stress on some bloody road and some bending on some bloody pipe) I don't want Artsy, media arts stuff, no offence to you guys. But hello? Since when was I an artist?! I don't want Architecture. The course too long... I'd rather be doing med during those same 6 or 7 years. Dentistry? Too much... teeth involved and bad breath too. Actuarial science? TOO MUCH MATHS and drop out rate too high. Pharmacy? Too much organic chem and I'm already dying of carbon compounds in F5 Chem. Archaelogy? Hmm, not bad idea. But dream on la... Don't even have enough money to buy Ipod still wanna say need enough money to fund an excavation. Hmph.

Any other course? Hmm, don't think so. :)

Anywho, Weds seven of us (haha my fav no) namely me, Noel, Tan, Jeremiah, Van, Jas and Margaret (F4) went... uhh Town la. Hehe. Was supposed to reach Tun Jugah by 5.30. But since me mum was late and I had to pick Van up so we made it to Tun Jugah at around 6. And despite the huge hu ha about where to meet, I finally told Jas and Noel that we'd wait for each other at the info counter. Also, I told them that I'd be late.

Guess what?

When we reach Tun Jugah. NO SOUL WAS IN SIGHT.

So Van and me were like trying to look up - how many? - floors to see whether got ppl. In the end, after a while (and after strained eyes) I decided to call Noel. And Van decided to call Jeremiah.

Guess where they all were?

Sarawak Plaza.

Grrr, I thought I said even if they wanted to walk around, walk in Tun Jugah!

Anywho, we were crossing the road to Tun Jugah. And then, brilliant Van had a brilliant idea.
The road still has cars zooming merrily and green light still on...
Van: Let's just run across the road! (speeds off across road and I run after her unthinkingly)
Me: Oy! Are you mad? Do you want to -
Car almost crashed into me. It brakes violently in time.
Me: AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! VANNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!
Van: (reaches the other side of the road, without any car ALMOST crashing into her and smiles widely at me)

After my almost near death by an oncoming car, we had to go up two or three floors to find the rest of them. Asked Jas whether she had bought a present for MTYP birthday...
Jas: Oh yes! I found this nice pair of shoes!
Me: (relieved and panting) Thank God. Where is it?
Jas: (brightly) It's at Vincci! At Tun Jugah!
Me and Van: (almost drop dead onto the floor)
Aiyoooo if I had known I WOULD HAVE STAYED AT TUN JUGAH AND NOT RUN ALL THE WAY TO SWAK PLAZA! Bahhhhhhhhh...

So, we crossed the road (this time when the green man came on :P) and went back to Tun Jugah. Got the shoes, bought wrapping paper... and then Jeremiah and Jas (since three of us sharing the presents) dumped the shoes onto me complete with wrapping paper and card and ask me to wrap. Their explanation for doing that?
Jeremiah: Oy, you wrap ah.
Jas: Ya.
Me: Why?!
Jeremiah: You didn't spend hours upon hours walking with her (points at Jas dramatically) just to find ONE PAIR OF SHOES now did you? (glares at her)
Jas and me: ...

Oh. At the bookshop at Swak plaza...
Noel (happily) Eh Siaw! I bet you like this book.
Me: (eager) Is it? Where? What?
Noel: (evilly holds up a book titled MICE!)
Me: %&)&%#)&$#)(*&(#$!!!!!

So, after Tun Jugah, we debated whether to go movies or dinner first. Considering that it was already 6.30 and most of the movies were starting at 7, we decided to go to movies first. And since we didn't want to cross roads, we decided to take the up-and-down-the-hill walk, past Hilton carpark and some sch.

While getting to the hill...
Me: How exactly are we going to cross the road in one piece?
All look at the cars zooming by NON STOP.
Noel: Easy! We just run!
Takes off across the road with cars still speeding by.
Tan, Van and me: OY! YOU WANT TO DIE ISSIT?!
Miraculously, he made it through without getting run over.

Oh. And then when walking past Hilton carpark...
Me: (walks across the road and doesn't notice a huge black Mercedes about to turn into the road)
Tan, Van: (from behind) SIAW! CAR!
Me: (turns as car comes nearer) What?
Noel: (bellows from behind me) GET OFF THE ROAD DAMMIT!
Me: (jumps and starts to run)
Haha.

Oh. Tan and Noel kept quarreling the whole way to Star. And then when we passed by the school...
Noel: Eh Siaw, you see that school? Me and Tan used to come here for Chinese classes.
Tan: Ya, we've been friends since childhood already. Together with (some girl can't remember what's the name)
Me: Oh...
Tan and Noel start fighting over something again.
Me: (annoyed they've been fighting all the way downhill) Aiyo, don't fight liao la. Maklumlah, you two childhood sweetheart bah.
Noel: (absentmindedly heard me say childhood friend or smth I think) But (the other girl) not here bah.
Me: You got so many childhood sweetheart mer?
Noel: Huh?
Pause for quite sometime as Tan and me: ...
Then...
Noel: (comprehension dawns) WHY YOU...
Reaction time so slow. Lol.

By the time we got to the ticketing booth, it was about 6.45 Tan and me wanted to watch X men but NOOO the others had to watch it already. So we ended up watching Benchwarmers.

Omg, it was so funny. The whole way throughout the movie we were all laughing like hell. Rob Schneider and David Spade are really funny. If you like lighthearted comedies, you really should watch it.

Winston joined us in the cinema and sat next to Tan coz nearer to the aisle. He came and stayed for... 5 mins? His friends ask him to go out after that and he went. Simply put by Tan, he paid 5 bucks for a movie he watched for only 5 minutes. Lol.

After movies, we were quarelling over where to eat: McD or D Aliff at Main Bazaar, Waterfront. Wound up at D Aliff which Tan claimed was so near but actually was far. Bahhh... never trust her on directional skills liao.

Noel ordered a crab burger. Tan ordered Black Pepper Crab and rice. Jeremiah, Jas, Margaret, me and Van ordered fried rice with one huge keropok :) The food there isn't half bad. The only thing was that we took such a long time arguing over the food (first we argued whether we should have individual or group sharing and then we argued about the drinks whether we should get normal drinks or smoothies then we argued about which food was nicer than we argued about the price and whether it was worth it and we had enough money to pay) that the waiter was obviously pissed with us when we finally placed our orders.

Tan and Jeremiah continue to quarrel over dinner after that though.

Oh yeah, smth funny...
Everyone knew Tan ordered Black Pepper Crab coz she told us and besides, we could smell black pepper on her crab when it came...
Jeremiah: Gimme some la...
Tan: No.
Jeremiah: Gimme some la...
Tan: No.
Jeremiah: Please la...
Tan: Ok la. You can take the gravy.
Jeremiah: (scoops us gravy and just about to eat it then) Wait, this is black pepper hah?
Tan: Well duh.
Jeremiah: (whines) Woyyyyy, why you didnt tell me?!
Tan: Because you're black ( tugs at Jeremiah's black shirt) Pepper bah! (starts laughing to herself)
All of us: ??

After dinner, we walked all the way to McD to wait for our parents. And I kept threatening everyone who disturbed me on the way that if they didn't stop, I would throw them into the river. In the end...
Van: You keep saying you want to throw ppl in the river... issit coz you want to be thrown into the river yourself hiah?
Jas: Yala, must be her secret desire...
Me: Oy!
Noel: Come, we throw you in right now! (darts towards me)
Me: NOOOOO.... (puts a burst of speed and run towards Tan who's far in front)
So glad that we reached McD soon after that. :)

Got home at about 10.30 that night after following Noel's car together with Van. Lol. Ahh, not bad la. Will prob be the last time we really hang out. What with 2nd term exams coming. And then Mock. And then SPM.

*shivers*

So much studying... NOOOOOO!!!

Oh well, better go study mua Physics now. I still got Sej and Bio to study for next weeks tests.

Bahhhhh....

That's it

Warning: Random ranting up ahead. ;)

I swear. That's it.

It's war. By golly I have declared war.

I could take it when that stupid squirrel of a Noel called me small.

I could stand it when he called me short.

I could live with it when he called me stupid.

I could understand when he called me abnormal.

But this is the final straw: calling me ugly!

*shakes fist at squirrel*

That's it. You're dead!

I have declared war! This is war! BETWEEN ME AND THE STUPID RODENT OF A SQUIRREL!

All family ties are broken! YOU - I NOT FAMILY ANYMORE.

Wait a minute, I removed myself from the rodent family a long time ago...

Anywho, back to the point.

THIS IS WAR! WAR YOU HEAR ME YOU NASTY LITTLE NUT-EATING FREAK!

BUGGER YOU!

Picture Gallery (2)

Continuation of the last post...

Pst. I didn't manage to study bio. HAHA.

Ahh, the kid in sjane. LOL. Sorry, sjane, couldn't resist.

Meet Mama apple. She gave birth to baby apple. And Van is their guardian.

Anywho, I got to go off to church now. The rest of the pics later...

Picture Gallery

Haha. I abandoned the blog for about a week already.

Sorry blog! Ampun maaf. Twas busy.

Am supposed to TRY to study for bio now. But oh phoo, too lazy. Hehe.

But I was hardworking enought to drag myself upstairs to get my cam to get the Miri pics. Oh. And Noel gave me some too. So here goes the overdue pics.

Yes, Jas, Sjane and Kim. Feel free to steal the pics from this blog. I'm only putting it up because I know some of you have been ga gaing at the pics I got. HAHA. And this is for you Kim, since you always steal pics off my blog... HEHE.

And also because the blog is so dull without pics. So here goes...

Kim, Sal and Jas. Aww, don't they look sweet? :P

Oh don't we look so like family? Haha. That's kim, me and sally at the beautiful fountain in beautiful Mariott. Damn. I miss Mariott.

Kim with a few of her *ahem* men. Wait a minute. They're stone. HAHAHA. Ok sorry, was mean of me to do that.

*hyperventilates* I know! I know! I SPOILED THE POSE! Hurgh.

The Grand Old Lady of Miri. Yep, she's Old but she's NO LADY! She's just a steel tower.

In the conference room in Curtin Uni. Fyi, I took this photo. And then I almost nodded off to sleep after that.

I miss the boring old bus ride... HAHA.

At the Miri City Fan, some of us "monkeys" decided to "hang" from the bridge while the rest of us were more civilized and prefered to watch on...

And these are the six ladies of the bridge. Haha. Yes Sjane and Jas, you can steal this one if you want to. :)

And these ladies and gentleman, are the bridge ppl of Miri City Fan. Sorry the pic's small.

Well the stupid blog refuses to take in any more pictures. Phoo. Just as it was beginning to get interesting. And funny. Dang.

Anywhoz, I'd post the others sometime. Need to take a bathe now. And then *deep shuddering breath* bio, here I come.

Bugger.