Insensitive

Have you ever felt that some people are just so insensitive?

How can they just write... stuff about oth ppl and just leave it where the whole world can see it?

Don't they know that ppl have feelings too?

Don't they understand that everyone is human and deserves a little respect?

Gawd.

What makes them think they have the bloody right to say whatever they want about other ppl?

What makes them think they're more superior than any of us?

Let's recount the story shall we? First-hand. From my point of view. And if you guys think I'm ranting on and on about some silly stuff. Stop right here. Seriously.

And if you were curious on what set off this fire of irritation in me you'd continue. Here it is.

"Hey guys, come on, let's get this thing done."

"Come off it, Siaw. We still have time left to do the bloody Chem project," retorted Alison who was taking some silly handphone pics with Emma and Tan. Kim was steadily reading to me about Glass and Ceramics from Mrs. Hon's notes. I was typing onto the Powerpoint Presentation.

The night was young. We were all in the air-con study room of mine, trying desperately to finish off the Chem project. The only topic on our minds is, "How long are the McD ppl going to take to come here?"

Don't get me wrong. We called one and a half hour earlier and they still haven't arrived.

I sighed and continued typing. Then Alison quipped, "Hey Siaw Hui, why don't we go surfing on the net and find some interesting websites set up by people we know?"

Tan and Emm leaped joyfully from the bed.

"Yeah let's."

I frowned. Time was running short, for me in my opinion. I stared at my computer clock. And the digits of 7.45 blinked back at me. 1 hour 15 minutes before Emm has to go home, I told myself mentally. I looked back at the slideshow presentation, debating with myself.

On one hand, I was curious to find out websites concerning people we knew. On the other hand, we had gotten only as far as doing the introduction on glass. And we still had ceramics to do.

"Well - "

"Oh come on, Siaw. It's just a little while," quipped Alison, hopping over the the computer screen, "Let's surf."

I laughed and then clicking on the Internet icon, begin to surf the net -

An action I would regret later in the night.

***

"Ooohhhh, I think this one's the one that many people told us would be interesting," exclaimed Alison in joy.

"Yeah, it looks promising all right," snorted Tan, looking with disinterest at the computer screen.

I frowned.

"Wanna check it out?" I offered, letting my mouse hover over a link.

"Ooh yes," yelped Alison and Emm.

Kim and Tan are facing away from the computer, but I could tell that their attention was focused on the screen.

I shrugged and then clicking on the link, began to explore -

***

"Ooohhh, let's take a look at this one," Alison volunteered, grabbing the mouse away from me and clicking on it.

"There's nothing interesting on this website," grunted Tania who goes off to join the bored Kim and Emm on the bed, located two metres away from the computer.

Alison frowned.

"Guess you're right," she said in a bored tone and went off to join Tan.

I laughed and was just about to close the window when something caught my eye.

"Well, well, this should be interesting," I murmured, casting glances at the four girls laughing happily on the bed.

They didn't even realized that I had navigated away from the current page we were on.

I clicked the link and the page opened.

I chuckled softly to myself as I scrolled down the page.

And then, my laughter caught in my throat.

My eyes opened wide, trying to fathom what they saw.

Oh my gawd. Oh my gawd. That's my name up there.

My mind was racing frantically, my heart was pounding with a frenzied rhythm.

Oh my gawd. Oh my gawd. That's my bloody name in the page!

Quickly I scrolled across and up the page, reading whatever it was concerning my name. And why it was located there. What people had written about me.

Written about ME.

Me, the stupid little idiot in school where people don't care a tuppence about.

And here were the words, "siaw hui" blinking back at me.

I blinked my eyes, not knowing whether to laugh or to cry.

But my heart was dropping slowly through my ribcage and into my gut. My throat was starting to gag with sadness. My feelings were just about crushed like grapes in the winery.

How could they do this to me?

What did I do to deserve this horrific thing?

Steadily, carefully, I tried to control my swirling negative emotions within me and tried to navigate away from that page, unnoticed by my friends. It was embarassing enough that I had to live with that. But if my friends ever saw my name in THAT page and what was there together with it, I was so dead.

"Siaw! Siaw! What's wrong with you? What happened?" a voice cut through the still silence of the room.

"Nothing," I quipped, too quickly and trying desperately to close the window but my limbs had jammed on me, "Nothing important."

Kim started pacing to me, "Siaw, don't tell me there's nothing wrong. There's something wrong. I know it. I see it."

She looked into my face, trying to decipher what was on it. I knew my face was in the state of silent shock, of silent distress. But somehow I felt something turn my head back to the screen. And as my eyes fixed upon my name once more, I felt my throat constrict and my eyes just locked in my sockets and stared back at my blinking name.

Kim's head turned together with mine to the screen. And she immediately realized what was bothering me.

Alison, Emm and Tan were coming up to the computer now, each going, "What happened? What happened, Siaw?"

The time to navigate away from the page was now, before I could get embarassed further. But my emotions deep down were swirling way deep inside of me, like I had never known before. I had never been so humiliated in my life. And there was my name, ready for everyone in the entire known world of the Internet to see. And there was nothing good in there to link with my name.

"It's something to do with this page," insisted Kim, peering into the computer screen, breaking my train of thoughts although my emotions were still disturbed, "Siaw was staring at it."

"What is it?" Alison quipped as Emm cooed, "Siaw, are you okay?"

"I don't know," Kim offered, trying to get the mouse from me.

Immediately the humiliation rose from deep inside me and I tried to grab my mouse away.

"No, it's nothing," I said, controlling my voice very well, "It's nothing."

"Siaw, don't say it's nothing," Tan reprimanded, giving Kim the opportunity to scroll a little down the page with the mouse, "It's something."

"It's nothing," I said, trying to laugh it off, "It's - "

"Oh - my - gawd."

I turned to look at Kim, trying desperately to laugh but I didn't know whether my fake laugh had succeeded.

And as I saw her gaping mouth, I knew that she had hit the jackpot.

"What?" inquired all three in unison as Kim gestured to my name.

I fought my negative emotions in me but I knew my countenance couldn't keep up with the fakeness of it all. But I still had to. My dignity, my integrity, my pride was at stake.

"Bloody hell," echoed Emm, eyes widening.

"How could they do this?" whispered Alison in an undertone.

"Siaw, they're an useless bunch of crap so forget it," quipped Tan.

I attempted a smile and it worked.

"It's ok," I said, waving my hand, "I don't care about it."

"Seriously?" said Kim, eyebrows rising.

"Yeah, it's embarassing but - "

My face crumpled and I could see Alison peering with worry at me.

"We're going to make this right," she said with determination.

Tan took a look at me and said, "Yeah, Siaw, we're going to make this right once and for all."

They tried to click on the page and to right the wrong that was tearing my heart in pieces.

But my dignity prevailed.

"NO!" I shrieked, tearing the mouse away from them, "NO! I DON'T WANT THINGS TO BE RIGHTED JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE FEELING SORRY FOR ME! I DON'T WANT THINGS TO BE RIGHTED JUST BECAUSE YOU FEEL LIKE YOU'RE MY FRIENDS AND THAT YOU SHOULD RIGHT IT FOR ME! LEAVE IT!"

"But Siaw, we're doing it because what they say of you is totally wrong and off tangent and - "

"Don't lie," I laughed mirthlessly, "Don't lie. You're doing it because of sympathy."

"We aren't!" bellowed Alison and Tan, "What they're saying concerning you is totally wrong. We're doing it because they're wrong about you."

"No, admit it, you're doing it because of sympathy."

"We aren't - "

"Don't make me stop you from wrestling the mouse away from me," I said, a hint of threat creeping into my voice, "Don't make me hit you."

Alison and Tan slunked into their chairs.

"I need no sympathy," I declared as I saw Kim opening her mouth to say something to comfort me, "I need none. This has bothered me not one bit."

I attempted an icy smile.

"Now where is McD?" I continued, taking a deep breath and turning my head away from the page, closed the window professionally.

***

"Bye Tan!" I said joyfully as Tania's car rounded the corner and approached my house.

Tania was the last to leave my house. The others had gone.

"Bye Siaw! See you tomorrow!" she replied, walking into the night.

I smiled lightly and closed the gate after her. I turned on my heels and padded softly to my study room. I sat down on my computer chair, staring at the computer with a blank stare.

Okay, Siaw Hui, you can finish this glass and ceramics project tonight. You can.

Then the memories of the night came flooding back like floodgates opening.

I closed the door softly, curled up in my chair.

I'll spare my dignity this once, I thought to myself, I'll spare it.

I curled up in my chair.

And in my desolation and despair, I began to cry to myself.

Quiz time

I swear on my cute lil puppy hanging on my phone that I'll never ever be an Add Math teacher.

The horror of trying to complete my Add Math project cannot be described.

Almost 6 hours on the comp and I still have 10 000 values to tabulate. THE HORROR.

Okay, fine. I'll shut up. And well, I sneaked off my Add Math project to take some tests...

And here they are.

Slow and Steady

Your friends see you as painstaking and fussy. They see you as very cautious, extremely careful, a slow and steady plodder. It'd really surprise them if you ever did something impulsively or on the spur of the moment. They expect you to examine everything carefully from every angle and then usually decide against it.

How Do People See You?

How You Life Your Life

You seem to be straight forward, but you keep a lot inside.You tend to avoid confrontation and stay away from sticky situations.You tend to have one best friend you hang with, as opposed to many aquaintences.Some of your past dreams have disappointed you, but you don't let it get you down.

How Do You Live Your Life?

Your World View

You are a fairly broadminded romantic and reasonably content. You value kindness and try to live by your ideals. You have strong need for security, which may be either emotional or material. You respect truth and are flexible. You like people, and they can readily make friends with you. You are not very adventurous, but this does not bother you.

What Is Your World View?

Your Hidden Talent

You have the natural talent of rocking the boat, thwarting the system.And while this may not seem big, it can be.It's people like you who serve as the catalysts to major cultural changes.You're just a bit behind the scenes, so no one really notices.

What's" Your Hidden Talent?

Your Career Type: Social

You are helpful, friendly, and trustworthy.Your talents lie in teaching, nursing, giving information, and solving social problems. You would make an excellent: Counselor - Dental Hygienist - LibrarianNurse - Parole Officer - Personal TrainerPhysical Therapist - Social Worker - Teacher The worst career options for your are realistic careers, like truck driver or farmer.

What's" Your Ideal Career?

Your Power Color Is Teal

At Your Highest: You feel accomplished and optimistic about the future. At Your Lowest: You feel in a slump and lack creativity. In Love: You tend to be many people's ideal partner. How You're Attractive: You make people feel confident and accepted. Your Eternal Question: "What Impression Am I Giving?"

What's" Your Power Color?

Well I guess that's all the tests I took. And now I have to go back to my project.

Dratted Add Maths.

A little of this, a little of that

Hmm, I wonder who was it that was so gungho on joining the blog and has now left our blog to die.

Hem-hem.

Look at the oth user name together with mine on the side bar and get a clue.

Sigh, Minis will be Minis. What to do?

*chuckles*

Anyway, this week has been like a mixture of everything. Jokes and laughter. Scoldings and anger. Stress and relief. Accusations and praise.

Well, yesterday wasn't entirely the best day. Come to think of it, yesterday was one of the most horrible days that even I can't even begin to dream of, not to mention have a nightmare about.

Let's just pretend yesterday was a big, angry, stressing, sad blur.

Today, humz... well, oth than the fact everyone including yours truly was rushing to finish Chem reports...

Today was actually, kinda all right.

Haha, and yeah, I've got more stupid stories about my friends. Not stupid, just lame and really silly.

Have you guys ever noticed Jess and how she always make one hell of a joke of everything? Yep, that's the little girl who's never failed to amaze us with her big laugh. Anyway, here's one of the silliest things she did this week.

Kim is always wearing a plaster on her arm. Some infection or something. But whatever it is, her plaster is always realllyy colorful and has cartoony drawings on it. Like kid's plaster la. It's quite cute. And well, like she puts it, she's trying to make a fashion statement. Heh. Anyway, one day..
Jessica: (explaining a joke to Kim avidly) So you see I did this and my parents just stared!
Jess starts exploding into laughter.
Kim: ???
Jess: (suddenly spots the plaster on Kim's hand) Ooooo, is that a sticker on your hand?
With that, she rips the plaster off Kim's arm.
And you guessed it.
Kim yowled the entire place down.

Oh yeah. And for Bio, we were supposed to go and measure the population of Mimosa plants in the field. Using quadrat method. So each group bring like five meter rules to form the quadrat and to measure. So here are some of the things that happened:
1) We were supposed to go to the school field (yes the one which is dying and has nth useful but the dreaded long jump pit in it) to count the Mimosa. But Mr Mong was there with his entire minion of PE students, so we had to leave...
Cikgu Anita: Oh, they having P.E here. We go outside park to do la.
The entire class leaves, leaving behind me and and Jess who are trailing behind.
Me: Hey Jess, you know -
Mr. Mong's whistle suddenly sounds loudly.
Whistle : PHEEETTTT!!!!!!!!!
Jess jumps with shock and releases all five meter rules in her hand, causing them to fall onto the concrete floor.
Rulers: PUH-CLANG!!!!!
2) We were warned not to touch the Mimosa and make it close...
Kok Ming: Hah! Here got one patch of Mimosa!
He walks away with Sing Yue, leaving behind Khang Wee, Jeremy, Kim, me and Emma.
Me: (starts forming the quadrat) Come on guys, we better -
Emm: (sadistic look on her face) Ooooo, Mimosa!!!
She picks up a ruler and looks like she's going to jab all the Mimosa shut.
Me: NOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!
Emm: (jabs all the Mimosa plants shut viciously) Bwahahahaha!
Me: MINI! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE??!!
Sing Yue, comes back and on hearing my shrieks ask: What happen?
Me: (desperately) Emm closed all the Mimosa!
Sing Yue gives me a brief look and then proceeds to trample all over the Mimosa viciously with his shoes.

Some peoples just won't learn. But ah well, like what they say -

Life is made up of a little of this and a little of that.

The Ice Cream Bonanza

Whoo!

Finally, the dreaded Bio test is over.

But I still have another Sejarah test and another Bio test. Sigh~ What's life without things that make you miserable?

Oh wells. At least I passed my Grade 8 Piano Practical. 109 marks out of 150. I actually feel proud of myself. Taking into account that I prepared one month ahead of the date of exam and crammed in my scales one week before the exam. Heh.

Yeah well, this week has been pretty hectic. If I'm not studying at home, I'll be doing statistics. Ugh. Statistics of the ice cream sale that is. Trying to find out how much stock we still have and how much more to order, calling the factory up to badger them about the arriving stock, counting the money, counting the loss and profit, worrying about whether we can finish selling the entire ice-cream stock -

I mean, like you people know, the school prefectorial board is holding an ice-cream sale now. Hahaha.

But seriously, I learnt something really important during this ice-cream sale: Lodge kids adore ice-cream.

But I guess aside from the hustle and bustle of everything, the ice-cream sale has been quite fun. Especially when Cas is around to pester everyone who is selling the ice-creams.

What do I mean?

*clears throat*

The things Cas has done during the ice-cream sale:
1) While trying to attract people to buy ice-cream...
Cas: Buy one tub of Magnum and you get a free Alicia!
Alicia: (annoyed) CAS! STOP IT!
Cas: (tries a diff tactic) Fine then. Buy one tub of Magnum and get one free Mao Ling!
Mao Ling: Oh shut up Cas!
Cas: (looks naughtily at me who's currently selling something) Buy five Magnums and get one free Siaw Hui!
Me: WHAT??!!
Cas: (louder) BUY FIVE MAGNUMS FREE SIAW HUI! BUY FIVE MAGNUMS FREE SIAW HUI!
Lionel: (who is standing nearby) Serious? Buy five Magnums get Siaw Hui?
Me: That sounds so wrong! Cas, I am not free!
Lionel: (whispers to Brandon) Get five Magnums and get Siaw Hui!
Me: NO YOU DON'T! I AM NOT FREE FOR ANYTHING YOU BUY!
Cas: (still leaping around joyfully) Buy 5 Magnums get one Siaw Hui!
Me: (exasperated) You come here, Cas! I'm so going to beat you up!
Cas and I scamper around the ice-cream machine, with Cas singing joyfully, FIVE MAGNUMS FREE SIAW HUI
Lionel: (watching the scene and points at me) I don't think I want to buy 5 Magnums to get her.
2) On another occasion...
Cas: Buy 2 Magnums get one Akmal!
Akmal looks annoyed but says nothing.
Cas: Buy 5 Magnums get Siaw Hui!
Akmal: HEY! Am I worth less than Siaw Hui?
That's not the point, Akmal, if you haven't noticed we're free gifts.
3) While trying to persuade Cikgu Susanna...
Cas: Cikgu, if you don't buy ice-cream, Siaw Hui is gonna run her car into yours.
Me: WHAT??!!
Cikgu: Wah, serious ah. This Siaw Hui so mean wan mer?
Cas: Yealar Cikgu.
Me: I don't drive a car neither do I own one. So I can't ram a car into yours Cikgu.
Cas: Ah, but you learn to drive next year right?
What is she suggesting?
4) Cas tries to blackmail people into buying ice-cream...
Cas: (yells at the little kids) You better buy ice-creams ah!
She points at a blank me.
Cas: You see, this girl is the Head Girl. If you don't buy ice-creams, she's going to demerit you!
Me: HEY!!!
Cas: (adds) And she has a hell lot of offence slips! So you better buy!
Fortunately, the kids thought she was raving mad.
5) On another promotion...
Cas: Buy two Magnums and Akmal will kiss you!
Akmal: WHAT??!!
Cas: Buy two Magnums and Vanessa will hug you!
Van: ??

One time, Akmal goes...
Akmal: Buy two Minis and get one free Mini (referring to Emm of course)
Janet: Seriously? Got promotion mer?
Emm: He's saying buy two Minis and get me.
Me: Emma, that's so wrong.
Emm: I know.

While checking the ice-cream stock on day one...
Akmal: What other ice-creams haven't arrived yet?
Me: Well, still got two boxes of Triple Choc Rush.
Akmal: Anymore?
Me: Oh yeah, the Minis aren't here yet hor?
Emm: (rummaging through the fridge, counting ice-creams, thinking we're talking about her) I'm here!

Apparently Emma thinks she's sooooo popular just because kids keep coming up to us to buy Minis. Ah, cheap skate girl. Hehehe.

Dropping coins in the fridge is not a good idea...
Me: (handing change over) Here you go -
The 10 cent I'm holding drops into the bloody fridge.
Akmal: Aiyah you clumsy pot!
Several seconds later, he drops a 20 cent coin in the fridge.

When I spot the 20 cent in the fridge...
Me: Hey got twenty cent!
I try to unjam the coin stuck to the side of the fridge.
Me: It's bloody stuck.
Suddenly the coin comes off easily and begins to stick, frozen to my palm.
Let me just say, getting a frozen coin off your hand is painful. ^-^

Yeah well, like what Cikgu Linus Lim said, the biggest project and experience we will have with the prefectorial board will probably be the ice-cream sale.