A joke a day keeps me awake

First off, I know this is the second time I have blogged today.

But it's not my fault I'm on a blogging spree.

Someone *cough* Lionel *cough* asked me to blog. So here I am. *shoots death glare at said person* Are you happy now?

So... what is there to blog?

*crickets sing*

That's right, *cough* Lionel *couogh* I have nothing to blog about! Grrrrr....

Anyway, since I'm here I might as well bring up some random jokes that I can still remember from the past year.

On a fine sunny day, in Chem class one day...
Cikgu Kenny: So you must remember that all nitrates *jabs board with chalk* will dissolve -
Cherling: (from the far back in response to Akmal making fun of her) DON"T LIE!
Cikgu Kenny turns, surprised.
Cikgu Kenny: Me lie about what?
Cherling: Ehehe... sorry?

On another day in Chem class when Cikgu Kenny is opening his files in his laptop...
Cikgu Kenny: Okay class, you have done your Powerpoint presentation on Polymers and what not. So now I'm going to show you -
He clicks a file which opens up to numerous photos, one of which says Wedding Photos and one of which has a photo of his graduation.
Whole class: CIKGU WE WANNA SEE YOU AT YOUR WEDDING!
Cikgu Kenny: No
Class: YES
Cikgu Kenny: NO
Class: PLEASE
Cikgu Kenny: (going a little pink) NO
Alison: Cikgu come on la! It's supposed to be the happiest day of your life!
Cikgu Kenny: NO
Kim and me: Cikgu please!
Cikgu Kenny: (still adamant but he hasn't closed the file leading to the wedding pics yet) NO
Me: Okay, at least show us your graduation photo.
Cikgu Kenny: (hesitates) FINE

On the day the seniors and the Heads got our red ties...
MTYP: Oh no, my tie too short! Siaw how?! I'm due for duty! (looks desperately at me)
Me: Arrr (look at clock) Well...
MTYP: Uh oh, my tie can't fit. It's soooo short!
Me: (take off my red tie) Here, take mine I'll go get a new red tie from the teacher for you okay?
MTYP: (takes it gratefully) Thanks, Siaw! (rushes off to foyer)
Me: (about to exit class when I realize that I have to wear a tie so I revert back to my blue one then walk out)
Kim: Hey Siaw! I wanna see you with your red tie! All the others are wearing - OMG! WHY AREN"T YOU WEARING YOURS?
Me: I lent -
Kim: (ignores me completely) OMG! You're wearing your blue tie!
Me: Kim...
Kim: OMG! THEY DEMOTED YOU ALREADY? SO FAST?
Me: .......

In chemistry lab again...
Cikgu Kenny: Be careful of the acid. Don't let it get on your hand if not you'll find yourself melting away. If you feel stinging, please wash it with lots of distilled water straight away.
Me: (takes bottle of HCl and pass it to Kim) Kim, please pour this into the test tube.
Kim: (looks apprehensive) But what if -
Tan: Aiyah, just do it la.
Kim: (scared) Okay, I will - (pours the HCl and then - ) OMG! I got acid on my hands! I got acid on my hands!
(sets the bottle down)
Kim: I can feel it stinging! It's painful!
Emm: KIM! It's nothing! You barely touched the bottle to pour -
Me: (the other side of the lab table holding H2SO4 and pouring it, really got it on my hand) Oh shit!
Al: What happened?
Me: (going red in face and my hand stinging like anything) I got acid on my hands!
(rush over to sink and wash hand obssesively)
Al: OMG! Tell Cikgu! You're going all pale and then red and then pale! And your hand it's so white!
Me: Shit.... it's so bloody painful (grit teeth as hand turns whiter and pain shoots through me)
Kim: (quietly) Oh so that's what happened when acid really gets on your hand.

Anyway, that's all. HOPE YOU"RE SATISFIED CROWN PRINCE LIONEL! Ahaha...