Unpredictable

I'm staring unseeingly into the computer.

Shocked, number, dumbfounded. As if I have gotten struck mute.

I'm staring blankly at my computer screen.

I don't know what to do, my fingers are quivering on the keyboard, my heart is suddenly beating so fast...

Things like this just does not happen to me. Things like this shouldn't happen to me.

My friend's mum has been involved in an accident. And she's a very close friend of mine. I joke with her mum, make crazy chatter and banter.

And now she's lying somewhere in Kuching, involved in an accident bleeding.

I do not want to think about it. I so do not want to think about it.

Today was supposed to be a happy day. Where every teen from my church should be happy, smiling, laughing. We were supposed to play games at church tonight together, making merry for the holidays are here. But now everything just seems so bleak, so lonely, so sad.

I don't know why this has affected me so much. Maybe it's due to the fact that my friend has been friends for me for almost 10 years. Her mum took care of my grandma when she was so sick. For heaven's sakes, my friends mum was a nurse! Why should something so outrageous happen to her?!

Now, my friend's sister (another friend of mine) is sitting in tuition, oblivious to what has happened to her mum. She doesn't know that her mum is bleeding in the middle of Kuching. My friend is trying to control her voice when she told me that she needed my help to look for her aunt. I could her that she was trying to fight back tears. Maybe it isn't that bad as we think, for we don't know the whole truth. But for goodness sakes, if you're bleeding from the head... what more can I say? If you have been involved in an accident and bleed, what can I say? I could hardly control the worry within me when I did reach her aunt by phone.

The holidays have begun, I know. But it was supposed to be on a happy note. Everyone should be making merry, cheerful. I pray and pray, that her mum gets better. The only thing I guess I should be grateful for is that maybe that this hasn't happened to my mum.

And it's only last Sunday, my friend and I were talking about our mums embarassing us. I so want to take that back now. I bet my friend wants to take it back again. I bet we all just want our mums to be healthy even if they embarass us, left right, forward, centre.

I pray... I pray... Lord, please watch over her and heal her. I pray... I pray... just let her be well again. I have no doubt that she will be healthy once more... but please, don't put her family through any more suffering...