Hurgh
Oh-kay.
*deep breath*
I can do this.
Focus. Here we go -
I can and I will concentrate on studying for my Mock. It's only 3 more weeks... exactly 3 more weeks and I 'haven't started any real studying. I must at all costs, finish my Form 4 Physics today. I know I can do it. I will do it.
Oh-kay. Second mantra of the day (or whatever you call it ;)
I absolutely positively need to score at least a B4 for each and every science subject I am taking for my Mock. And a B4 is like what? Eh... 65? Okay I MUST do it. No more playing Siaw Hui. But for personaly glory (or whatever crap you call it) I will and MUST get an A1 for each one. You know just in case Trinity suddenly gets too many students who get great aggregates. So there's got to be an A1 for Bio, an A1 for Chem, an A1 for Physics, an A1 for Add Maths, an A1 for Maths and an A1 for Eng. Wth... we'd just throw in another A1 for EST just in case those Trinity ppl want EST in too in case.
Breathe Siaw Hui. An A1 for all those. No problem. Right?
You have GOT to be kidding me.
Nevertheless...
Oh-kay... Pressure starting to mount. Wait, I can take it... still.
Breathe. Okay focus. In one months' time you are going to pick you subjects for Trinity. No more running away idiotic girl. Last time you were asked which subject you wanted, you just looked and flipped through and then went: I'd make that decision another day. Bet you you're thinking that you should have already sat down and thought about it right? Right? Because your "another day" is coming sooner than you think.
Lit in English equals Macbeth. I think I can do it. Drama which involves monolouging. It can't be THAT hard can it? History of Ideas equals long boring essays on what you think about everything under the sun esp politics. Ohkay... Chemistry a must for any sci degree (which your parents will be killing for you to do anyway). Then what do we have here?
*flips through page*
Maths 1A? Maths 1B? Maths 2? Wth are these?! Since when do they have so many Maths!!
Oh so Maths 2 is Add Maths. Ya ok. Umm, no thank you!! I don't like the sound of all those weird Maths laws they're mentioning.
So that leaves us with Maths 1A and 1B.
Wth is the diff anyway?
*flips again*
Oh here we go. The only diff is that you get to choose between statistics and some thingamajig apparently. But both have probs, diff and trig. Whoopeedee.
Uhh... do I really need to take maths? *hopeful look*
*flips*
Well apparently I do. All sci degrees require Maths. At least Maths 1. Hell.
So there's that. English. HOI. Maths. And then?
Physics or Bio? Physics or Bio?
Dad's exact words: You have to choose the best subjects you have in school. Because you have to score a grade point average of 98 to get into Med for Melb of Uni.
Ah hell.
Physics or Bio? Both are scoring equally in school currently. Both are faring equally in my interests... with the interest in Physics increasing to catch up with my Bio's interest.
So what the hell do I pick?
Physics... looks relatively all right. Whatever we study is whatever they study too. Apparently. But so is Bio.
So... Physics or Bio?
Oh great I don't even know how to gauge my own strengths. Maybe someone can help?
Oh hell. 98 for entry into Med for Melb of Uni. And the cherry of the cake is that if I don't do Med, I don't feel like working for anything or anyone at all. So it's either Med or nth at all. Because I just can't imagine myself as anything else. But apparently, everyone has to be against me and my ambition don't they?
Sigh.
Is this the path I want to take? From Lodge to Trinity. From Trinity to Uni of Melb. From Uni of Melb to becoming a doctor. Is this truly the path I was meant to take?
What if I make... the wrong choice?
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood...
Oh gawd. I'm starting to quote a poem. Focus Siaw Hui. Focus... you need to get some sleep now and then back to Physics.
Que sera sera.
What will be will be.
What the hell is going on around here?
What the hell is wrong with me?
Because I know there are more things going through my mind now besides my apparent career path and everything that's heading towards it.
There is something lurking deep in everyone, they say, a deep dark secret.
Works for me too. Deep dark secret eh? Boy it's there all right.
Concentrate. Remember Que sera sera.
What will be will be.
Would it be too much to ask what is the "what will be" part for me?
*deep breath*
I can do this.
Focus. Here we go -
I can and I will concentrate on studying for my Mock. It's only 3 more weeks... exactly 3 more weeks and I 'haven't started any real studying. I must at all costs, finish my Form 4 Physics today. I know I can do it. I will do it.
Oh-kay. Second mantra of the day (or whatever you call it ;)
I absolutely positively need to score at least a B4 for each and every science subject I am taking for my Mock. And a B4 is like what? Eh... 65? Okay I MUST do it. No more playing Siaw Hui. But for personaly glory (or whatever crap you call it) I will and MUST get an A1 for each one. You know just in case Trinity suddenly gets too many students who get great aggregates. So there's got to be an A1 for Bio, an A1 for Chem, an A1 for Physics, an A1 for Add Maths, an A1 for Maths and an A1 for Eng. Wth... we'd just throw in another A1 for EST just in case those Trinity ppl want EST in too in case.
Breathe Siaw Hui. An A1 for all those. No problem. Right?
You have GOT to be kidding me.
Nevertheless...
Oh-kay... Pressure starting to mount. Wait, I can take it... still.
Breathe. Okay focus. In one months' time you are going to pick you subjects for Trinity. No more running away idiotic girl. Last time you were asked which subject you wanted, you just looked and flipped through and then went: I'd make that decision another day. Bet you you're thinking that you should have already sat down and thought about it right? Right? Because your "another day" is coming sooner than you think.
Lit in English equals Macbeth. I think I can do it. Drama which involves monolouging. It can't be THAT hard can it? History of Ideas equals long boring essays on what you think about everything under the sun esp politics. Ohkay... Chemistry a must for any sci degree (which your parents will be killing for you to do anyway). Then what do we have here?
*flips through page*
Maths 1A? Maths 1B? Maths 2? Wth are these?! Since when do they have so many Maths!!
Oh so Maths 2 is Add Maths. Ya ok. Umm, no thank you!! I don't like the sound of all those weird Maths laws they're mentioning.
So that leaves us with Maths 1A and 1B.
Wth is the diff anyway?
*flips again*
Oh here we go. The only diff is that you get to choose between statistics and some thingamajig apparently. But both have probs, diff and trig. Whoopeedee.
Uhh... do I really need to take maths? *hopeful look*
*flips*
Well apparently I do. All sci degrees require Maths. At least Maths 1. Hell.
So there's that. English. HOI. Maths. And then?
Physics or Bio? Physics or Bio?
Dad's exact words: You have to choose the best subjects you have in school. Because you have to score a grade point average of 98 to get into Med for Melb of Uni.
Ah hell.
Physics or Bio? Both are scoring equally in school currently. Both are faring equally in my interests... with the interest in Physics increasing to catch up with my Bio's interest.
So what the hell do I pick?
Physics... looks relatively all right. Whatever we study is whatever they study too. Apparently. But so is Bio.
So... Physics or Bio?
Oh great I don't even know how to gauge my own strengths. Maybe someone can help?
Oh hell. 98 for entry into Med for Melb of Uni. And the cherry of the cake is that if I don't do Med, I don't feel like working for anything or anyone at all. So it's either Med or nth at all. Because I just can't imagine myself as anything else. But apparently, everyone has to be against me and my ambition don't they?
Sigh.
Is this the path I want to take? From Lodge to Trinity. From Trinity to Uni of Melb. From Uni of Melb to becoming a doctor. Is this truly the path I was meant to take?
What if I make... the wrong choice?
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood...
Oh gawd. I'm starting to quote a poem. Focus Siaw Hui. Focus... you need to get some sleep now and then back to Physics.
Que sera sera.
What will be will be.
What the hell is going on around here?
What the hell is wrong with me?
Because I know there are more things going through my mind now besides my apparent career path and everything that's heading towards it.
There is something lurking deep in everyone, they say, a deep dark secret.
Works for me too. Deep dark secret eh? Boy it's there all right.
Concentrate. Remember Que sera sera.
What will be will be.
Would it be too much to ask what is the "what will be" part for me?
posted by *~siaw hui~* at 2:31 PM
5 Comments:
Don't worry, don't think too much and just do it... though it's easier said than done lol
Whatever you're trying to do, I'll support you =D
But to the the truth, you're not the 1st person I heard rant about Med stuff =P
Take physics - it's more about understanding and concepts, bio is mainly about memorising except for genetics. And both subjects are suitable for medicine. Math is a must though.. lol. And you will get A1s for all those subjects, i am damn sure. =)
aiyah u r siaw. worry too much. every single time worry like hell till i get worried for u too. then end up gettin so damn high. u jus wan me get high blood pressure is it? is this ur devious plot to kill poor squirrel?!! hmmph. either that or u jus wan loads of frizzy white hair like einstein!
no im not. it's just that things aren't working out that great after all.
then jus take it as it comes. nthg is perfect so jus go wif it.
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