Kids Say the Darndest Things
Hey, emma updated!! Go girl!
Anyway, I don't have much time right now. Having to study later and all that. But I got this cool inspiration on kids (don't ask me why) so I'm blogging stuff I've learnt over the years (esp how to deal with kids and their annoying questions.) So here goes.
First of all, do you ever notice kids hate the other sex? Here are the few examples:
1) During some church children camp, me and the other musicians (all of us teens btw mixed girls and guys) were sitting at the back listening to the course being conducted for the kids...
Teacher: Do you know what love is?
Kids: Ahhh...
Teacher: It's like next time when you grow up; guys you will fall in love with a girl and girls you will fall in love with a guy and get married, ok?
Kids: (extremely loud): YUCK!!!
Me and Sam look at Joshua, Daniel and Jonathan and we all burst out laughing.
2) Me and Rebecca were in the church office together with one of the children teachers when the little girls burst into the room...
Girls: Teacher! Teacher! We can't stand the boys!
Me and Becca: (look at each other amused)
Teacher: Nevermind the boys.
Girls: Teacher! We don't want to sleep with them tonight!
Me: (Drinking water splurts it all out onto Becca who's giving an equally weird look and going: WHAT? GIRLS SLEEP WITH GUYS?)
Teacher: Don't worry. You don't need to sleep with the guys.
Girls: Yeah, we don't wanna share mattresses with them.
Me: (splutter cough and gag) What?! Share WHAT?!
Becca: What's with ?!!
Teacher: Stop thinking what you're thinking you two.
Like it's our fault that we think that way. WE"RE TEENS?!
But then again, there are kids who like the opposite sex...
1) There's this little girl called Leticia and a little boy called Bryant. Completely non-related and they're just really cute and cuddly kids. So they love chasing each other around church...
Me and Sam: Look at them go. (look at the two mad kids) They really love chasing each other around.
Lydia: Yeah, I know.
Lilian: (stoops and catches Leticia) Hello.
Leticia: (struggles) Lemme go, lemme go!
Lilian: You're so cute...
Me: Uhh Lilian? I think she wants to get down and continue her little game with Bryant?
Lilian: No she doesn't.
Me: Leticia, do you want to come back down to chase Bryant around the church?
Leticia: (nods enthusiastically) YES
Me: Ya see? (takes Leticia out of Lilian's arms and puts her down to begin chasing the guy again.)
Oh oh. Btw, that kid, Leticia has ever been caught by Lydia's sister kissing little Bryant on the cheek under the kitchen table in church. OMG
OH YEAH. And once Leticia went up to Zoe (who has a lil brother called Ben) and told Zoe: When I grow up, I'm going to marry Ben. And Zoe was like: W H A T?!!
Gosh, that's so funny la. And wait till you hear more stuff about Ben...
1) It was Ben's birthday once and he really wanted me to go to his bday party (God knows why)...
Ben: Mummy, can she (points to me) come to my party?
Ben's Mum: Umm, Ben I'm not sure whether she wants to come...
Ben: Sure she wants to. DOn't you?
Me: Uhh... sure?
Ben: Can she come? Can she come?
Ben's Mum: But Ben, she's too old for you.
Me: ...
Becca: (next to me) OMG, did she just say what she just said? DID SHE SAY YOU"RE TOO OLD FOR HIM? THAT SOUNDS SO WRONG.
Me: Oh shut up you.
2) When me, Becca, Sam and his mum were talking...
Mum: So he was talking to this prostitute on the plane...
Ben: Mum, what's a prostitute?
Mum: Umm... well she's someone who does something that's wrong for Christians.
Me and Sam: (laughing like hell)
Ben: What does she do?
Becca: (eager) She does things to guys which only married ppl can do!
Ben: What do married people do?
Mum: Something intimate.
Ben: What's intimate?
Mum: Ben, we'll talk about this another time okay?
Me and Sam: (laughing till we're just about dead)
Oh and wait till you hear about my cousin, Matthew.
1) Once I was reading him Baa Baa Black Sheep...
Me: Okay, Matt, now you've heard it, repeat the rhyme to me.
Matt: Baa baa black sheep have you any wool? Yes sir yes sir three bags full.
Me: Good, continue.
Matt: One for the MONSTER!!!
Me: What? NO! One for the master!
Matt: (gets up and skips merrily around) MONSTER! MONSTER! MONSTER!
Me: Oh forget it.
2) When we were playing some Bob the Builder computer game...
Matt: I set easy easy one for you to play ok? I scared you can't play.
Me: ??!!!!!
Is he underestimating my intelligence?!
3) When we were passing a police station, his dad wanted to shut him up so...
Dad: Matt, if you don't keep quiet, we're going to ask the police to lock you up in this police station. And you'll get nothing but curry chicken rice all day.
Matt: (pretends to think for a while) Can I ask them to hold the curry? I like chicken rice that way.
Dad: That's not the point!!!
4) When I was reading some mag with Matt, we came across a page with models...
Me: So which one do you think is pretty?
Matt: (picks the most skimpy looking one)
Me: Matt!!!
Matt's Mum: (referring to Matt's Dad) Dear, what have you been teaching him?!!
Lol. OH and Kim said smth about her cousin...
Kim's cousin: Kim, why is the sky blue?
Kim: I dunno.
Cousin: Why is the grass green?
Kim: I dunno.
Cousin: Why is it raining?
Kim: I DUNNO! STOP BUGGING ME!
Haha. Kids say the darndest things.
Anyway, I don't have much time right now. Having to study later and all that. But I got this cool inspiration on kids (don't ask me why) so I'm blogging stuff I've learnt over the years (esp how to deal with kids and their annoying questions.) So here goes.
First of all, do you ever notice kids hate the other sex? Here are the few examples:
1) During some church children camp, me and the other musicians (all of us teens btw mixed girls and guys) were sitting at the back listening to the course being conducted for the kids...
Teacher: Do you know what love is?
Kids: Ahhh...
Teacher: It's like next time when you grow up; guys you will fall in love with a girl and girls you will fall in love with a guy and get married, ok?
Kids: (extremely loud): YUCK!!!
Me and Sam look at Joshua, Daniel and Jonathan and we all burst out laughing.
2) Me and Rebecca were in the church office together with one of the children teachers when the little girls burst into the room...
Girls: Teacher! Teacher! We can't stand the boys!
Me and Becca: (look at each other amused)
Teacher: Nevermind the boys.
Girls: Teacher! We don't want to sleep with them tonight!
Me: (Drinking water splurts it all out onto Becca who's giving an equally weird look and going: WHAT? GIRLS SLEEP WITH GUYS?)
Teacher: Don't worry. You don't need to sleep with the guys.
Girls: Yeah, we don't wanna share mattresses with them.
Me: (splutter cough and gag) What?! Share WHAT?!
Becca: What's with ?!!
Teacher: Stop thinking what you're thinking you two.
Like it's our fault that we think that way. WE"RE TEENS?!
But then again, there are kids who like the opposite sex...
1) There's this little girl called Leticia and a little boy called Bryant. Completely non-related and they're just really cute and cuddly kids. So they love chasing each other around church...
Me and Sam: Look at them go. (look at the two mad kids) They really love chasing each other around.
Lydia: Yeah, I know.
Lilian: (stoops and catches Leticia) Hello.
Leticia: (struggles) Lemme go, lemme go!
Lilian: You're so cute...
Me: Uhh Lilian? I think she wants to get down and continue her little game with Bryant?
Lilian: No she doesn't.
Me: Leticia, do you want to come back down to chase Bryant around the church?
Leticia: (nods enthusiastically) YES
Me: Ya see? (takes Leticia out of Lilian's arms and puts her down to begin chasing the guy again.)
Oh oh. Btw, that kid, Leticia has ever been caught by Lydia's sister kissing little Bryant on the cheek under the kitchen table in church. OMG
OH YEAH. And once Leticia went up to Zoe (who has a lil brother called Ben) and told Zoe: When I grow up, I'm going to marry Ben. And Zoe was like: W H A T?!!
Gosh, that's so funny la. And wait till you hear more stuff about Ben...
1) It was Ben's birthday once and he really wanted me to go to his bday party (God knows why)...
Ben: Mummy, can she (points to me) come to my party?
Ben's Mum: Umm, Ben I'm not sure whether she wants to come...
Ben: Sure she wants to. DOn't you?
Me: Uhh... sure?
Ben: Can she come? Can she come?
Ben's Mum: But Ben, she's too old for you.
Me: ...
Becca: (next to me) OMG, did she just say what she just said? DID SHE SAY YOU"RE TOO OLD FOR HIM? THAT SOUNDS SO WRONG.
Me: Oh shut up you.
2) When me, Becca, Sam and his mum were talking...
Mum: So he was talking to this prostitute on the plane...
Ben: Mum, what's a prostitute?
Mum: Umm... well she's someone who does something that's wrong for Christians.
Me and Sam: (laughing like hell)
Ben: What does she do?
Becca: (eager) She does things to guys which only married ppl can do!
Ben: What do married people do?
Mum: Something intimate.
Ben: What's intimate?
Mum: Ben, we'll talk about this another time okay?
Me and Sam: (laughing till we're just about dead)
Oh and wait till you hear about my cousin, Matthew.
1) Once I was reading him Baa Baa Black Sheep...
Me: Okay, Matt, now you've heard it, repeat the rhyme to me.
Matt: Baa baa black sheep have you any wool? Yes sir yes sir three bags full.
Me: Good, continue.
Matt: One for the MONSTER!!!
Me: What? NO! One for the master!
Matt: (gets up and skips merrily around) MONSTER! MONSTER! MONSTER!
Me: Oh forget it.
2) When we were playing some Bob the Builder computer game...
Matt: I set easy easy one for you to play ok? I scared you can't play.
Me: ??!!!!!
Is he underestimating my intelligence?!
3) When we were passing a police station, his dad wanted to shut him up so...
Dad: Matt, if you don't keep quiet, we're going to ask the police to lock you up in this police station. And you'll get nothing but curry chicken rice all day.
Matt: (pretends to think for a while) Can I ask them to hold the curry? I like chicken rice that way.
Dad: That's not the point!!!
4) When I was reading some mag with Matt, we came across a page with models...
Me: So which one do you think is pretty?
Matt: (picks the most skimpy looking one)
Me: Matt!!!
Matt's Mum: (referring to Matt's Dad) Dear, what have you been teaching him?!!
Lol. OH and Kim said smth about her cousin...
Kim's cousin: Kim, why is the sky blue?
Kim: I dunno.
Cousin: Why is the grass green?
Kim: I dunno.
Cousin: Why is it raining?
Kim: I DUNNO! STOP BUGGING ME!
Haha. Kids say the darndest things.
posted by *~siaw hui~* at 9:47 PM
15 Comments:
ahahhaa! those kids are funny!
hahaha! so funny! thats y i like lil kids. bet u couldnt even play the game siaw. shud haf an easier functionfor u. mouse setting. lol.
funny. las ttime i remember swearing to my cousin, who btw is a girl. 2 yrs older. i swore never to like any girls! haha. she jus smiled and said well c. damn i hate being wrong.
muahahaha! siaw too OLD for ben. dun worry siaw. mebbe next time when he grows up if he don marry leticia. roflol.
waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! siaw hui taller than a guy! well, don't forget, u haf 7 yrs head start. hmmmmmm. he goes to lodge also eh.????? muahahahahahahahahahhaha! evil ideas r forming. 10 yrs old. that means... primary 4? hahaha. go check school mag liaw for siaw hui new one. *cough paedo*cough jk
oi. me no paedofile (or however you spell that!)
and YES I"M TALLER THAN HIM! AND PROUD OF IT! EVEN IF I HAD SEVEN YEARS OF HEADSTART!!!!!!
not for long
oh shuddup van
yups. il give him one yr to beat u
wanna bet?
gambling is a sin, not unless u always win. anyway im off gambling.
i said bet.
as in umm.. well not money terms.
as in like, if you lose the bet you have to eat your words.
THAT type of bet. geez.
oh. how shall i cook the words? bbq? roast? deep fry? mebbe a bit of soy sauce? ketchup? or maybe, bake it in a cake?haha.
oh geez
wait i know.
garnish them with your everlasting supply of N U T S
ok. ill cook them in nut oil, then stuff with almonds and crust it with walnuts!
you do know that was sarcasm don't you?
Post a Comment
<< Home