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Okay, okay, Squirrel. This post ain't about you. Not yet anyway. I'll get round to it soon, I think.

:P

Wait, you can't force me to do something that I don't wanna!! HAHAHAHA! There!

Anyway, let me digress...

Yesterday I went visiting like around... umm... 7 houses? And I only got like what 3 angpows!! The horror.

Pfff... though we kept making fun of my frens' little brother. You know, coz he can't understand all those grown up jokes we were cracking. I shall not specify. But anyway, he kept on looking at us with blank gazes and he kept tugging on his oldest sis' shirt wanting to find out what was happening. And his sis kept brushing him off saying, "AIYAH, you are a Kikilala. You won't understand." Get it? Okay fine, if you don't, Kikilala is a kid's brand line of clothes. Get it now? If you don't forget it.

Hmm.. has any of you played basketball against a backdrop of fireworks? If you have never, you should try. It's really really fantastic. And really really pretty too. And it's a really good advantage to snatch the ball away from your opponent because they're standing there gawking at the fireworks. Haha.But the effect is really cool. And really really fantastic, breathtaking...

Oh and I loved playing that backfire game yesterday at Evelyn's house!! It involves a lot of fast reflexes and a lot of "thumb" strength. You're supposed to fire the ball over to your opponents sides (by twisting a knob with your index and thumb) and try as hard as possible to get it to drop into your opponents groove. If you do, you score. Ouch, my thumbs really really hurt today. Ouchie. It feels like there's a huge bruise on each of them.

HAH! I beat Rebecca four times in the four-in-a-row game. HAH! And then I beat her once in the Backfire game! But she beat me once too. BUT overall I won! HAH!!!

Okay, getting carried away right there...

Have you ever felt things backfire on you? (Okay, I am so not talking about the game right now) Seriously, have you ever felt things backfire on you? LIke you planned for something or you banked on somethine happening. And you kept telling yourself that this thing is going to happen to you in such and such a manner. But in the ultimate end, it hits you really hard that your plan has backfired. Because now everything that's happening to you wasn't planned. Instead, everything happening to you is because of yourself. You who had been working in the direction of counting on your plan to work. And now, the realization just hits you really hard that you've been an utter fool and that EVERYTHING that you dreamt of, is blasted into pieces. And you realize that the ultimate fool was yourself. And not the person you was counting on to be the fool.

I'm talking in riddles. Even as I reread that part, I don't even know what I'm saying (logically it makes not much sense doesnt it?) But somehow, that paragraph really really makes sense in terms of my heart.

Sigh...

Woke up today,
Felt hungover.
Then I remember,
What I was thinking of the day before...

Thinking that I was such a fool,
For falling into that same ravine,
That same trap set for idiots,
That trap that I shouldn't have fallen into...

Hadn't falling into such an abyss,
Been enough to keep me from staying away?
Hadn't I been steering myself away from it,
Ever since I fell and hurt myself so badly before?

So why is it that now,
I'm feeling like a total fool?
For not knowing that I turned back to that ravine,
Without me realizing?

The last time I was in that ravine,
It made me ache so bad...
I don't want to feel that pain again,
Then why did I open myself to such pain once more?

The last time I was in that ravine,
I felt like the lowest of low...
Knowing that by the time I got out,
I would be kicking myself for being so stupid.

What's wrong with me...
This wasn't supposed to turn out this way!
Someone else was supposed to fall into that ravine!
Definitely not me!

Then why has the tables turned?
Why has everything backfired?
Why am I now in this huge crevace?
Why am I now the pathetic fool?

Why am I now the one who's reaching out?
Why am I now the one feeling so much grief?
Why am I now the one feeling, feeling...
That I've just betrayed my friendship?

I'm now stuck in this ravine...
My guess is I won't be getting out anytime soon.
But somewhere within me,
I'm still hoping against hope...

Isn't it funny?
That life plays such cruel jokes on us?
Isn't it funny?
That things don't go as planned?

Isn't it downright funny?
That I've fallen into that same ravine?
As I did so many years ago...
Knowing very well that I should not have...

Cruel fate.